December 2024

Vacation was amazing. The best part was playing games with my family, eating my mom's cooking together, and wearing cold weather clothes. We take apples to apples very seriously in this family.

I saw Les Patineurs, Rubies, and the debut of the Spider's Feast at my local opera house. Les Patineurs was so beautiful and mesmerizing that tears were just pouring out of my eyes and I couldn't make it stop. The backdrop was magical. The costumes were gorgeous and the dancers did spectacular. I was so in awe. It was my first time seeing a ballet in person. For some reason, it caught me off guard to see moves we do in my weekly basic ballet class performed by professionals in real ballet performances and it inspired me to stay extra committed to ballet this year. I am easily the worst dancer in my class I think. It does frustrate me when my body isn't doing what I want it to, and I would like to go twice a week but the Friday night class is slightly harder (Beginner/Level 1 versus just Beginner). I already feel like I'm struggling in my Wednesday class and I don't want to bring the class down. I also feel, in addition to my excitement before each class, a sense of dread knowing that I am about to struggle through an hour of intense concentration and still flounder. It feels like playing guitar hero and you can't hit the fourth or fifth button yet. I am genuinely proud of myself for continuing to stick with it despite everything. I can't really explain why the joy of dancing is so worth the pain and frustration but it is.

I am preparing for next year. I think most people reflect on their year and contemplate their goals for the upcoming year. Next year I think my themes will be living slowly, decluttering, and being intentional in everything I do. I want my life to be smoother and more efficient. There are a lot of systems in my day to day life that could be altered to be way more efficient. I feel like I am living on top of my old life so I can't completely grow into the next version of myself.

I also want to focus on my discipline and feeding my ambitions. Last year in January I participated in a health challenge my gym does every year and I have never felt better. I appreciate a really strict routine but once I am knocked off of it I struggle to get back into it. Last year I had such a good time and the routine really helped me thrive. I will be participating again this year with more experience and knowledge and I feel thrilled. My only goal with this challenge is to beat my numbers on my body scan from the end of the program last year. With knitting my sweater, I realized that I rarely actually let myself want to accomplish things and then also follow through. When I want something, I will rarely go after it and I have been working really hard on this the past year.

I want to read harder books in the new year. This past year I reread a bunch of books from my childhood and read tons of new books, but after reading several more challenging and complex books more recently I want to continue. I think I am over reading manga for the moment. I started Dandadan because my husband really likes it and we love discussing media with each other but I'm finding it incredibly juvenile and difficult to endure (if you're reading this I'm so sorry). I have read plenty of manga that were masterpieces but I feel pretty satisfied with everything I have read and don't feel compelled to read anything new currently.

I am going to write a list of books I plan to read this year but that will probably be a separate page. I am also prioritizing all books that I currently own. My house is essentially a library at this point.

For the new year I have prepared: New eyeglasses, fresh contact lenses, new shoes, a new hobonichi weeks planner, all the books I want to read, and the yarn for my next few projects. I have everything I need for a successful year which feels really satisfying! Also, this isn't a specific goal but I hope my writing improves as I continue working on this site.